reblogging for the millionth time
I’m looking at you, Hardee’s.
My Dad asked me last night why I carry my 1911 in the house, what am I afraid of? I looked him straight in the eye and said, “The Goddamn Decepticons.” He laughed, I laughed, the toaster laughed, I shot the toaster. It was a good time.
1. Denial - “No, it’s fine. I have plenty of time. It’s like, not even a big deal. Whatever.”
2. Anger - “Fuck you, Winston Churchill. I hope you choke on a cigar in hell and die one thousand deaths, you dead British fuck.”
3. Bargaining - “If I do one page an hour with fifteen minute breaks every forty five minutes … or one page every half hour with thirty minute breaks, and then do some more highlighting … “
4. Depression - “I’m not going to finish this paper, which means I’m not going to pass this class, which means I’m never going to graduate, which means I’M GOING TO BE HOMELESS OH GOD WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME.”
5. Acceptance - “It’s all going to be ok. It’s not like I was going to be earning above minimum wage for the rest of my life anyway.”
|Kid:||Yeah give me a pack of Marlboro Reds.|
|Cashier:||Are you 18?|
|Kid:||It's okay, they're a metaphor.|